Censor This, Bitch!!!!

If you read this blog regularly, you know I'm TOTALLY opposed to ANY censorship on radio and TV broadcasts. This espcially applies to live events where crowds and audiences are out of the control of the host network, and subsequently the local affiliates.

Last weekend I watched NBC's coverage of the NHL hockey playoffs.. I KNOW I heard what some "prudes" (who would censor "poop") would call offensive language. (NOTE: I have personally started the "bullshit" chants at sporting events. Sometimes said events involve preschool kids.) Now how can you keep the networks from being unduly censored by an unforgiving FCC, who have some steep fines, you axe?? I'm glad you did. Here's my proposal...
1.) hold the game/event/live broadcast in an empty arena/stadium/theater.
2.) not use any live audio.
3.) employ "bluescreen" technology and censor out the crowds and then substitute in a "moral crowd.

While thinking this out I came to a realization: this Administration and current FCC have become what Richard Bachman (aka Steven King) portrayed in the book The Running Man.

Apparently SEEING IS BELIEVING...

side note: Congress is considering calling FCC chairman Kevin Martin in on the carpet for the way the FCC is running the ship. Consolidation and cross-ownership aside, Mr. Martin is a puppet for G.W. Bailey...er, George W. Bush...

When There's TV, Im Gone; When I'm Gone, There's Action!

Why is it that whenever I get "forced" into action by the superior officers of the Juan Bodley Charitable Trust Foundation and Tax Dodge, I remember that there's going to be Reds baseball on free TV this weekend?? And why is it that to be able to watch the Sprint Cup All-Star race you have to have satellite or cable??? WHO THE HELL DECIDED THAT SHIT???

Thank god Schiffman is leaving channel 15.
When Sandy goes and Pantazi, Smith, and Associates get off of 21, and there's more than 2 news sources in this shithole, then maybe I'll stop bitching about things I can't control. And would somebody tell 21 that they've got typos in their USELESS crawls on their newscasts?? I really don't care about a settlement in a California Catholic diocese that apparently has ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING on Indiana. Lax judgement in the news office there on Butler Road...



OK now back to our top story...
At least next weekend's racing action (minus Formula One, natch,) will be contested under the Indy sky, on open airwaves, along with the rest of the country south of the Mason-Dicks'out Line watchin' that NASCAR racin'. Boogity boogity boogity. Slap me silly and call me Jethro!!!

TURNER CUP IN FORT WAYNE!!!!!

At just past 12:30 AM May 13, 2008, in the THIRD OVERTIME, the Fort Wayne Komets got the TURNER CUP!!!!!

The new IHL is back and the Fort Wayne Komets put their names on the trophy as CHAMPIONS!!!

FORT WAYNE IS HOCKEY TOWN!!!!!

KOMETS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sofa King whacked!!!

I found a Sofa King website!!

Look to the links (on the right side, genius) and go there!!!

It's Sofa King ballbusting!!!!

A Mother's Day S-A-L-U-T-E (Late, of course...)

Here's to a mom who once chased an artificial eye under the fridge...
Here's to a mom who once got a Mother's Day from Johnny Bench (instead of young Juan Bodley...)
Here's to a mom who copies Bob and Tom CDs just so I can hear songs like "Trauma to the Groin" and "Big Butter Jesus" whenever the hell I want...

Even though she's a CUBS fan (wtf??) she's Mom...

Instead of flowers I give fertilizer in the form of Juan Bodley!!!

Sad Day

I use this blog as a place to be funny.
Some days I am, some days I'm not.

Today I am not. I found out yesterday that on Sunday morning a man who opened my eyes to the career(s) that I've pursued for the past 20 years, broadcasting, engineering, and audio/video work, passed away.

Bob Thomas, or T as the radio kids called him, ran the radio station at (the formerly known as) Columbia City Joint High School. The station is WJHS, 91.5 FM and it's an actual on the air station, not LPFM. (Denise Bodley and yours truly were "radio punks.") Denise was there on Day One, I came in the next year, and I didn't leave until 1994. I worked for T as his evening supervisor, and did so through technical school and a few surgeries as well. T helped me out when he could, came down hard on me when he should, and let me be the goofball whacko that he knew lived in me. On the air, in the studios, in the wiring, I got more from the experience and I know I got more out of it than T got out of my work there. (More than a few of his gray hairs I caused, I know...)

Rush has the song "Spirit of Radio" and the lines "invisible airwaves crackle with life, bright antennae bristle with the energy..." and that was the feeling I got there. When I was at WQHK, WANE-TV, or when I was building the systems in Atlanta and Miami, the fundamentals of the system, it was from WJHS that I knew them. Watching the engineers at 91.5 fixing the equipment, installing a new studio, or telling me how to do it, I got the chance because one man had the belief that I knew what I was doing. That was T.

(Unfortunately for me, T NEVER let me work on the transmitter. Guess he knew way back then that you should never let Juan Bodley near the power tools...)

Bob, I thank you. (and I told him that a few times, but like the cliche goes, I didn't say it enough.)

Power down the transmitter. Sign the log, put the records away, turn off the turntables, and lock the door.

I Did My Civic Duty, Bitch!!

Today Indiana has it's much-hearalded Presidential Primary, and contrary to what I THOUGHT would happen, I walked right in, presented my "controversial" state-issued ID (my driver's license in this case) and cast my electron-infused ballot. ... Indiana has a Voter ID law that was challenged in the courts...naturally the state won, so those without ID can't vote unless they go out of their way to get an ID at the BMV so they can cast a B-A-L-L-O-T. Whoopee.

So who did I vote for, you axe?? Well, you busy-bodied prying nags, I'll never tell. Even if President Bush forced me, as a member of the electronic Fourth Estate (e-journalist; hey you bastards, quit laughing;) to reveal my ballot I'm keeping my blabbing mouth shut.

Now I hope this keeps the Obama and Clinton camps from sending their people to my door to "steer" me toward their candidate and now I can use the propaganda papers to go litter the ditches and pollute the environment...wait, I should save them and use them this winter to heat my bungalow of Republican hatred...
(In case you didn't understand...I voted Democrat. Republican Indiana just plain sucks. Donkey balls.)

I'm Sick Of...

1. The damn Democratic campaign. I've had more SHIT fill my mailbox lately. Yes I'm voting next Tuesday and no you won't know for which candidate until I cast my ballot.
2. No Pepsi sales this week, unless you count KMart. And it's out of my way to go there.
3. This Goddamn miserable weather. Yes I took His name in vain, and frankly bitch I don't care.
4. Local radio. IT SUCKS. REALLY. Repeating artists don't disguise the fact that your on air products sucks monkey balls. Eat my shorts and play something better!!
5. The Reds are losing.
6. The Reds are STILL losing.
7. All these insurance companies calling me, because somebody I know is trying to get me a health insurance plan, and she didn't tell me that she did, and now EVERY FUCKING COMPANY IS CALLING ME AND PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!
8. See number 7...I still hate that shit.
9. Family members who just just piss me off. If you own a trailer that's rat infested you're number one on that list. Or if you have a field to plant somewhere...
10. The world in particular. Terrorists are nothing more than punks with no balls. If you're going to kill me, show me your face before you pull the trigger. You little fuckers are gutless punks.

I have a lot of hate for the world and where better to show it than to my faithful, just like Jerry Falwell. Now I'm sending the plate around and you're not leaving until every bill in your wallet is in there, or youse ho's is goin' back on the street to make mah money, bitch!!!!

Another Butt Rot Entry

Another feature of "Butt Rot and Bottom Gas" is the list of cities and towns with great names at the "rear" of the book. If you know the Bob and Tom radio show then you know they already beat me to the "Dildo, Newfoundland" references. (go search for "Captain Dildo" and see what pops up...hehehehe...)

Anyway back to business in hand, uh, at hand...

Towns I love from "Butt Rot and Bottom Gas":
Ballsbridge - a suburb of Dublin, Ireland
Bitchfield - a tiny village in Lincolnshire, England
Clit - a village in Romania
Dyke - also in Lincolnshire, Eng.
Cunter - a village in Switzerland

There, that should keep you bottom feeders happy for a week or two...
Now go and distribute your new Bottom Gas!!

You Axe For It...

Ms. Denise Bodley, sister of one Juan Bodley, editor in cheese of this shit hole, er, blog, complained that when I celebrated the win by Danica Patrick at Twin Ring Motegi I should have posted this picture instead of the smut shot I did post.

Too late for ya Denise??